Lockdown Lessons From The Van: Seven Ideas For Staying Sane In A Small Space

On the face of it, it might not seem like there are many similarities between being stuck at home in a pandemic lockdown and touring around in a van or motorhome. Certainly the key part of motorhome life, the fact that it moves from place to place, is totally opposite. However, when it comes to living in a small space with a loved one, managing time away from the strictures of train timetables, and staying in touch with friends and loved ones remotely, there are in fact quite a lot of crossovers.

Although it seems like a lifetime ago now, when we first set off back in 2014 we didn't really notice all of these challenges at first. We were too busy being in holiday mode, a feeling that lasted throughout the first summer and into Autumn. It wasn't until winter started to bite and we found ourselves spending 23 hours a day (or more) in a 5 x 2 metres plastic box together that we really started to experience the downsides of motorhome life.

Over the course of the next couple of years we worked hard on our communication alongside refining the way we managed our time, projects and possessions in a small space. It's been a continuous, gradual process. However, after over six years of primarily van living, here are a few things that we find help the days flow and our relationship go smoothly.

1) Exercise early in the day
Getting up early and doing some exercise in the morning is one of the most powerful ways we find to make the day feel better, whatever else we might be doing. Whether we sit behind laptops writing for the rest of the day, go shopping, read books or sit on a beach, working up a sweat first thing always helps us to stay balanced. It might be a bike ride, a jog, a fast walk, yoga or an exercise video just outside the door. Basically anything that gets us moving and breathing a little quicker than normal. It's well known that exercise helps with mood as well as all of the physical benefits, and we find that carries through the day.

2) Fix times for different tasks
While I'm talking about scheduling, breaking each day down into bitesize chunks helps us a lot. When we first found ourselves without the strictures of regular hours and commuting, it was great. We felt so free and life was easy, but after a while we started to feel aimless. Nowadays each day is still a blank canvas, but at the start of each day (or just before bed) we always try and make a very rough plan of how the day ahead might look. It doesn't even mean we always stick to it, but it removes the issue of stopping every hour or so and asking "what next?" Or the listless feeling of looking back in the evening and thinking "I've been busy all day, but what have I done?"

3) Set manageable goals every day
Ever since our first summer of total freedom ended, we've had projects to work on. Sometimes it was hands-on work, but mostly it's been computer based. Books, this blog, articles we've written etc. Working in isolation can sometimes be quite demotivating, especially if there's no hard deadline coming up.

At times we've tried to overcome this aimlessness by setting ambitious goals, such as "I'll finish the first draft in two weeks", but in reality being too ambitious has usually sent us the other way after a few days. We knew it was too much so we stopped trying.

Instead, for self-employed / independent workers like us, we've found that having an easy-to-reach target every day is much more motivating. We know we can do it, so we do. Usually we then feel uplifted by reaching our goal and so carry on anyway. However, even if we only do a little each day, by the end of the week we can look back and think "wow, we did all of that!"

4) Actively work on communication with loved ones
I've written about our relationship and motorhome life a few times over the years. To put it bluntly, living in a motorhome together almost broke us up. It wasn't until we made the conscious choice to 'work on our relationship' that we found a way back to loving feelings.

Now 'working on a relationship' is a common expression and I confess I didn't even know what it meant when we started, but it was actually very simple. In our case we bought a very well-known book about male-female communication (one of the Mars/Venus series by John Gray) and committed to reading it together. It revolutionised how we saw and spoke to each other. Since then we've done other online courses and read other books as well, because the results made us so much happier.

Being suddenly confined to the same space as a spouse, sibling, parent or whatever, when you're used to being out and about, is likely going to be a challenge one way or another. However, it can also be an opportunity. Skills and understanding cultivated during a challenging time will only make life even richer when normality starts to return.

5) Keep your space tidy (or even have a clear out!)
As with relationships, I've written about clearing out several times. Having a simple, uncluttered, minimalist lifestyle is (in my opinion) one of the great gifts of van life. It makes you declutter. And, as we've learned, there's a great clarity of thought that comes from knowing where everything is or where it goes.

We've heard from several friends in the last few weeks telling us how they spent a day rearranging a garage or moving furniture, which is great if they enjoyed it. But, if you get the urge, it can be nice to go even further. This might be the chance to finally 'tackle the attic' and get your eBay listings ready for summer.

6) Limiting internet time
Okay, so we're adults and can spend as long as we like on the internet. Also, this is going to sound really simple. But, as a specific example of setting times for different tasks like I mentioned above, time for web browsing, chatting and posting is something we find we have to be really careful with. Meandering web browsing is like a rabbit hole that can suck us in, especially me.

I'm not saying we keep a chart or anything specific like that, but when I catch myself aimlessly filling time with web browsing, I have to make a conscious effort to do something else. A certain amount of time browsing news, Facebook, emails etc. helps me to destress, but there always comes a point when I can feel the stress creeping back up again. Which is why we also try and....

7) Take up a new hobby
Right now I'm learning to play the guitar. I started 10 days ago and can now manage recognisable version of "Mr Tambourine Man". In the past I've learned French, a little Spanish and even studied a smattering of philosophy. Not that I can now speak fluent French, or Spanish, or quote Marcus Aurelius. However, for the time I spent learning them I enjoyed each task. I didn't have an outcome based goal, it was the doing that I enjoyed. When I stopped enjoying it, I found something new.

'Beginner's mind', as it's sometimes known, is that focused state you experience when you need to give all of your attention to a task. For many people, myself included, it's very relaxing as it takes my mind away from other life worries.

Having a new (unimportant) hobby can be a great way to relieve stress in a confined space because there are so many options to choose from. And, if you take up knitting, you can get started on Christmas presents already!

Could Our Motorhome Adventure Be 'Better'? - Learning To Be Guided By Listening

The days leading up to the end of the year, can often bring up anxiety in me.  Have I been 'happy' with how the year has been?  Do I feel fulfilled? Do I have regrets?  What changes do I want to make?  I felt I wanted to re-share this post, which was originally posted in Jan 2016.  If it resonates with you please share with friends and spread the message..... After 2 months now living in a house in Southern France and having recently decided to take-up a house-sitting arrangement as opposed to getting back into our motorhome... this morning I woke up missing our motorhome touring life. I found myself again pondering, "How could I make our motorhome life 'better' so that we didn't feel the need to crash out in a house from time-to-time?" I found myself stumbling across this post, re-read it and immediately connected back to the wisdom Dan and I had shared 4 years ago.  There is no better or worse, just different and from time to time we must take time and space to reflect and review as to whether change is really needed, and if so what, or whether it is just doubts, frustrations and wanting control creeping back in.  Sneaky mind.... I'm watching you ;-)

Re-post: Originally  18/1/2016
It started out as an innocent thought, having just spent our first night in a spacious, airy and light apartment in San Jose and revelling in the luxury of space and the rest of the creature comforts on offer. "Hmmm", I wondered, "do we have some decisions to make? This apartment just feels so wonderful this morning, should we try and do more apartment living and less motorhome touring?" Almost as soon as the words entered my head I felt a little guilty - Homer after all was sitting outside cold and lonely while I was lying in a big comfortable bed. But on a more serious note, I couldn't put aside the question of whether it would be worth sitting down and considering if there was a 'better' way to break up our adventures to balance all of the many different modes of life we'd tried out this year: touring, campsite life, farm work, living with family, wild-camping on the beach etc......What was the 'best' balance for us?  Does it even exist?

Travel Decisions And The Freedom Of Not Knowing

A few days ago Esther and I cycled up a steep hill, which sounds like nothing new in itself since we’ve cycled up a lot of hills over the years. However, unlike most of those other hills, this time around we had no facts and figures whatsoever about the road ahead of us. We didn’t know how long the hill was, or how steep. In fact, until the road abruptly reached the bottom of a mountain and started going uphill at an alarming rate, we didn’t even know there was going to be a hill at all. Our ride planning had involved looking at a jumble of small white lines on GoogleMaps and choosing one of them to follow. It was only the next day that I got the urge to look up where we’d cycled to and discovered we’d inadvertently included a 5km, almost 10% average gradient climb in our route (the Puerto de la Safor if you want to look it up), which is a steeper average than most of the big Alpine and Pyrenean ones we’ve tackled over the years, albeit a little shorter.

Organic Food Availability In Spain

During the years that we’ve been touring, one of the things we’ve increasingly grown to look out for in a new area is whether or not we can buy organic food (I’ll say a few words about why at the end). It’s one of the reasons we love touring in France so much, with the various organic food franchises such as Biocoop, Biomonde and La Vie Claire ensuring that fresh organic food is almost always available. However, in Spain we always struggled a little. Yes, the major chains such as Carrefour and Lidl sometimes had a small organic fruit selection (although often not very fresh) and some non-perishables, but in terms of dedicated organic stores there wasn’t very much.

17 Years On - A Relationship That's Totally Perfect In Its Imperfection

Today Dan and I celebrate 17 years being together in a relationship (almost a third, so 5 of those years, have been spent together living in a motorhome); something which fills us immediately with gratitude every morning.  And so I felt moved to share some words about how more and more the perfection of our relationship is revealed to me everyday! And I wanted to write more about what myths and expectations I'm constantly being challenged to let go of when thinking about what is the 'perfect' relationship and also how so often we just take for granted what love we are being offered.

Settling Into San Jose, Cabo de Gata - Feels Like Coming Home

By the time spring returns it will  have been pretty much three years since we drove Homer, our first motorhome, south from Durham and began our adventure. During that time we've seen many places, done many things and met many wonderful people. Yet there are certain places that seem to keep drawing us back time and again. One of those places is the Cabo de Gata Natural Park in the south east corner of Spain. When we first arrived here in December 2014 we fell so in love with peace, tranquillity and calm that seems to hang in the air and on the stunning cliffs and beaches here that we have now returned for a third winter.

Even More Clearing Out & The Importance of Planning

During our months in the UK earlier this year we spent a large chunk of our time, on and off, clearing out and passing on many of our old possessions that had been in storage since our adventures began. As I reflected on in this post, it was something we both felt compelled to do. But it was also both a healing and challenging process and one which taught us a lot about ourselves, our priorities and how to support each other. But now, after 3 months living out of a rucksack, it feels like time to go to the next level and remove yet another layer of stuff.

Slow Down, Get More Done

Albert Einstein is quoted as saying "Look deep into nature, then you will understand everything better". Certainly nature is one of our greatest teachers and for us this is certainly true of the mountains we love to visit. The mountains are a powerful, magnificent and dynamic environment that on our human timescales can appear so still and unchanging. Perhaps that is partly why we find them so captivating and love to spend so much time among them. In fact, since returning to the Swiss Alps it is precisely that love for the mountains that has led to another important lesson, or perhaps I should say reminder. That is, the importance of slowing down in order to thrive and, perhaps counterintuitively to our modern minds, get more done.

Accepting Past Choices - Lessons From The Close Of Summer

We arrived here in Caorle around 2 weeks ago now to find summer still very much in full swing. The sun was high and clothing was very much minimal as we sweated our way past bustling beach cafes and crowded deck chairs en route to our well appointed apartment a little north of the main town. We had headed here for a period of stability, reflection and a self-care reset following a month in the mountains and a whistle stop tour of Egypt and indeed we have certainly found what we needed in that respect. Yet something else strange has happened as well. Summer unexpectedly seemed to 'close' and in doing so created a wonderful opportunity to work on accepting past choices and how we can make that easier for ourselves.

First Homer, Now Our Flat - Why Have We Sold It?

It's pretty much 10 and half years to the day since we collected the keys to our first home together and now today (I originally started writing this on 1st July) we've received the news that finally the sale of our flat has completed.  2 weeks ago we left Durham and locked up our flat for the final time.  Although we'd decided to sell our flat back in January, and so since then in our minds it had been a done deal, it was still a little emotional for me when we did close the door for the final time. Because of the unexpected (and at times a little frustrating) legal hold-ups, we got the opportunity to go back and live in the flat for 10 weeks.  During this time, there were some moments when the thought 'why are we selling this wonderful flat' crossed our minds.  There was no real good reason for deciding to sell.  At the start of the New Year we decided that we wanted to continue our travels a little while longer and so we could have tried to find new tenants.  But something back in January told us both that it was the right decision to at this time let it go.  Although we'd had a great stay in Durham, this feeling was confirmed when we drove away from Durham a fortnight ago.  We've not really reflected upon why we'd decided to sell so here are a few thoughts.....

Why I Loved And Hated Clearing Out - And Why I Learnt So Much Doing It

"Clearing out", a phrase that seems to bring up widely varied responses depending on who you speak to. To some people it sounds easy, simply take everything you haven't used for a period of time and give/throw it away depending on whether or not it still works. To others it sounds incredibly hard, bringing up images of ripping away long-held, dear and sentimental things. Having spent much of the past few months involved (on and off) in a process of what I would call 'extreme clearing out', trying to get our worldly possessions into just 10-12 plastic tubs, I thought I might take a moment to reflect on my own experience, why we did it, what was easy, what was hard and what I've learnt along the way, especially since it turned out Esther and I took very different approaches to passing on our old possessions.

Was It All A Dream? And Yes We Are Still Here

Almost 3 months to the day since we landed back in the UK and we are back where we began, at Esther's parents house in Buckinghamshire. Since our visit here in March much has happened. We've visited many places, spent time with many people and done a lot of both fun and practical things, not least of which was clearing out and finding new homes for the vast majority of our old, stored possessions. But still, returning to the place that was our first stop after our return to Britain, back when we still owned Homer and envisaged spending just a couple of weeks in Durham, it does feel a little surreal. Although we never really had a plan, we certainly never envisaged being back here and still in the UK after 3 months. After such a busy, emotional and action packed time we can't help wondering if the last 3 months were all a dream?

"What Are 2 Oxford Graduates Doing Drifting Around Europe In A Motorhome" - Lessons & Moving Forward 2016

The question in the title of this post is perhaps the most direct way we've ever been asked this question but in one form or another it's a question we get asked a lot. It worried us, not because of what people were asking but because it tapped into a concern we already which is "what are we doing next?" Ever since we had extended our career break, part of us felt guilty and embarrassed that we had.  We couldn't pretend that we could put our heads in the sand forever. Were we just being selfish? Should we be doing something more with our lives and our skills? Were we just hiding? If we want to make a contribution in the world shouldn't we go back and settle down again?

Community Minded Travelling - Being Part Of The Motorhome Community And Supporting The Places We Stay

For a large part of the past 18 months we've been travelling in a motorhome, so it makes sense to say that we are part of the motorhoming community, a community that we've come to realise is both staggeringly extensive and varied. As we reflected on in a previous post, since setting off in 2014 we've seen people motorhome travelling in so many different ways that there really is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to travel at all - you have to go your own way. It might sound obvious, but as we'd never followed blogs or read other peoples stories, until we got on the road ourselves we had no idea how large the community that surrounds motorhome travelling is. But what we've also come to see is that the motorhome community can't exist in isolation either. In fact, as a relatively 'nomadic' group, the motorhome community also needs a physical community to be be part of, namely the places that motorhomes visit. Over time we've increasingly begun to realise that whenever we park our motorhome in a village or town, we are a temporary part of that community as well.

Consider A Career Break - We Wish We Did Sooner - Our Life Changing Experience So Far

What's the point of a gap year or career break and what are we going to get out of one? If you'd asked us a questions like this a few years ago we probably would have shrugged our shoulders, or suggested that a gap year or a career break were just a nice long holiday. However, since we set of on our adventures we have discovered they are so much more. The time and experiences we've had on our career break has completely changed the way we view the world and what we want to do with our lives. We're so passionate about and grateful for the opportunity and subsequent changes in our own lives that we want to share a few reflections on our experience and also explain why we'd encourage anyone feeling dissatisfied with their current situation to create time for a break; to just do it and not keep making excuses like we did for so long.

Taking A Break From The Motorhome In San Jose - How Familiar Places Have Provided New Directions

When we left the UK last May it was with very few plans in mind, but the definite idea that we would resist the pull of returning to the familiar (amazing) areas we had visited during the previous year. We'd read online it was good to challenge ourselves and to us that meant going to new places, and so we told ourselves we would only be seeking out pastures new when we boarded the ferry in Harwich.....but somehow exactly the opposite has happened! Instead our journey this year has found us threading our way through many of the same geographical areas we relished during the previous year and, even more so than last year, staying put for much longer in specific parts of those areas....a fact that really dawned on us today as we collected the keys for a 4 week apartment stay in San Jose, Cabo de Gata where we spent more than 2 months of winter last year as well! Yet for all the apparent similarities in our destinations, our adventure has been so staggeringly different and challenging in other, unexpected ways that we thought it was worth reflecting on just how our adventure conspired to guide us back to the familiar and the freedom it has given us in other parts of our journey.

Motorhome Meetings - A Multilingual, Multicultural Unexpected New Years Gathering

Our plan to see in the New Year had been a rather low key one - off to bed around 10.30 as normal! That said, for all our plans of sleeping through, it was an unexpected blast of a ships horn that saw us taking part in a nocturnal, impromptu gathering at midnight with our beach parking compatriots celebrating and welcoming in 2016. Later that January 1st the same group gathered once more to enjoy each others company - four couples, four languages, uncountable jokes and lots of laughter. Who would have thought that a random collection of 'strangers' on a beachside car park in Spain could come together and create such a feeling of hope for better communication and togetherness for the New Year.

Our Final Sunrise Of 2015 - Magical Moments Over The Mediterranean Sea

There is very little words can say to add to the beautiful pictures of this mornings sunrise over the Mediterranean from our vantage point a little south of Valencia. Our unplanned witnessing of this awesome event came about quite by chance, as we both awoke unexpectedly early and saw the clear horizon just starting to glow yellow. The next hour, standing together on the cold sand by the sea with the gentle waves lapping quietly next to us, unfolded as a calm yet blissful long moment. The perfect way to say farewell to 2015.

Christmas Homesickness and Happiness - Perspectives From Our Second Year on the Road

Strolling gently through the Mediterranean waves in the warm afternoon sun of the Albufera Nature reserve this Christmas Eve our minds turned naturally to home, Christmas, family and friends. Although, without a doubt, our Christmas location this year is idyllic, we were both also aware of a nagging sense of homesickness and restlessness that has been growing in us both these past few days. The purpose of this post is to reflect a little on that feeling and share a few thoughts on our own perspective.

Our Sunny Afternoon Return To Ceillac By Bike - Reflections On Where Our Journey Changed

Although we didn't realise it at the time, looking back now after almost 3 months in the Queyras Regional Park, it was our time in Ceillac that really changed and began to shaped the experiences of our adventure this year. As the temperature begins to fall in the French Alps and we're aware that our time in the Queyras Regional Park may soon come to an end, it's hard to believe that it's more than 2 and a half months since we first cycled from Guillestre to the mountain village of Ceillac to check out the route with an attempt on the Tour du Queyras in mind. Although that didn't go to plan we went on to spend more than 3 weeks there and find some life changing realisations leaving us with, overall, very fond memories. So, after a busy morning on the organic farm we decided to try that same cycle once more, reflect on how much had changed and also see a friend we had made during our time there as well.