In mid-January, we got a call from our current tenants that they were giving their one month's notice. After much indecision and discussion, between ourselves and with others, we decided to sell our flat whilst staying in Cabo de Gata last January. There were no real good reason for the decision. We could have easily and quickly found new tenants. The flat wasn't in the most sought after parts of Durham so it offered a great amount of space and comfort for the money. It rented out well. Since we'd left in 2014 we'd had two sets of tenants, both who'd taken the flat on the first viewing. There had been no void period. Although we'd bought the flat in 2006, nearing the peak of the housing market boom, as it was a new build we'd gotten a first-time buyer discount which had cushioned us somewhat when the market crashed. We'd also gotten a good mortgage rate at the time so we could just about cover the costs of the mortgage and upkeep, including the maintenance and management fees, with the rent we were receiving. The mortgage did need to be refinanced later in the year but that didn't change the decision too much. Also although the sale would release some capital, our careful budgeting and the favourable exchange rate had meant we'd not had to dip into our savings much during the two years, so this wasn't a deciding factor either.
So there was some deliberation about what to do. In the end something just felt right about the decision - it wasn't financial or practical reasons forcing us to sell, it just simply felt time to let go. Thereafter everything happened quite quickly so we didn't really have time to think about it or question our decision. Within a week we'd agreed a sale with the first person who'd viewed and the legal proceedings got underway. Initially it looked like it would all go through even before we got back to the UK.
When we arrived back in Durham, late at night after a long and tiring journey North, it was very comforting to open the door to our old home. As we'd let the flat out furnished, it was like nothing had changed. Waking up on the first morning back did feel somewhat strange.
The second day back we'd organised a little homecoming gathering. Our friends asked us 'Do your motorhome adventures now feel like a dream?' but we could honestly say no, not this time.
Last year when we returned to Durham for the motorhome's MOT, Dan in particular was desperately keen to get back on the road and back to the mountains, still associating feelings of happiness with external conditions. And this idea of needing to go chase and find happiness abroad was the reason why, even though I was ill, we raced off having only stayed in Durham 2 weeks.
But over the past 6-12 months, our journey took on a very different form - one of much self-reflection work and became a very inward focused journey. As we've written about elsewhere, once the novelty had worn off and we couldn't re-create the happiness felt on our first adventures, it forced us to sit down and start dealing with a lot of our past issues, shadows and baggage we'd been dragging around with us through writing, talking, reading and meditating. We've come to strongly feel and know now that our happiness isn't determined by where we are living. This has allowed us to really enjoy being back in Durham and allowed us to fully appreciate the many great things about our life there - not just things we'd overlooked in the past but also what our present time was offering us.
There were lots of memories made in the flat over the decade we'd owned it and the past 10 weeks have reminded us what an amazing place it was. When the sale was dragging on and we started getting comfortable and settling into a nice routine, there were several times the thought of 'why are we selling?' crossed our minds. We could so easily just slot back into our old lives and be happy. The longer we stayed, the more the decision, which had come so naturally in Spain, felt a little harder. It was also difficult when we started bring back all our personal possessions out of storage to sort out and find new homes for. There were times when this wasn't such an easy process, especially for me, which allowed a few doubts to creep in: 'why and what are we doing this all for?'
But deep down we both still felt it was the right decision. It was time to move on. We do feel that one day we will settle somewhere as we both have a longing to be part of a more stable community. And it may even be back in Durham - we're not ruling anything out. But for now, we both feel like we still have more to experience and learn from on our life journey. To settle back down in Durham at this point in our journey, we feel would be too much in our comfort zone. Almost too comfortable. We could get different jobs, get involved with local charities, even continue to work on new passions like raising awareness about incontinence and nutrition etc. But looking back over the past 2 years, the experiences and challenges we've had living together in a motorhome, travelling to some wonderful new places and meeting some incredibly inspirational people, we know that this is broadening our horizons. We're being challenged to expose and let go of some old habits, mindsets and coping mechanisms which weren't serving us so well anymore and we feel there's still more to this process.
We're not sure what lies ahead, we don't even have very detailed plans for the next few weeks but for now that's ok with us. We're looking forward to seeing what experiences life has in store for us and what other lessons will come our way through these experiences. We still feel we both have a lot of growing to do.
So for now, it's time to move onwards and time for a new chapter. It was a little emotional two weeks ago when we locked up for the final time but as we drove away there was once again that excited feeling and a small voice telling us that we'd done the right thing.
Oh, well you made the right decision! One house is more than enough ;-))
ReplyDeleteI commented on your previous post too, hadn't seen this one when I started writing, hope you can still read it!
Best of luck! Oh, yes, and I am still jogging...